12.
Overcoming Inhibition and Insecurity
Inhibitions—those pesky little thoughts that keep us from doing something, accomplishing something, speaking to someone, taking a risk, seizing that moment, speaking in front of a group of people, getting on a roller coaster, flying down a zip line, stepping onto stage…the list goes on and on. We allow these thoughts to influence us in such a way that they stop us from entering into, developing, or even taking the time to be in “relationship” with others.
Insecurities is another word for inhibitions. You can tell when they crop up by the words that come into our thought-streams: “I can’t…,” “I don’t…,” “no one will…,” or “who are you to…?” When they do, we have a choice to make. Do we allow those thoughts to cripple us, keeping us on the ledge that foregoes relationships with others? Or will we jump off that ledge into the waters below, immersing ourselves into the messiness of relationships?
I had become quite proficient at hiding my insecurities. I remember one evening while volunteering for childcare, I spent a few hours speaking to a new friend that had only been an acquaintance before that night. It was eye-opening to hear that she thought I was unapproachable because I didn’t speak much to anyone when they walked by. I told her it was because I thought they would not notice or talk to me. After that night, I decided to change my perspective on others. My inhibitions and insecurities had driven me to judge others before getting to know them without giving them a chance to share their story. This caused me to miss out on some great friendships.
That wasn’t okay with me anymore.
It was Bible college during my senior year when my insecurities really rose to the surface. One of my classes centered around expository preaching and the end-of-term project was to write and preach a sermon in front of the class. The instructor and class were to choose two of those sermons to be given in front of the entire college during a Friday chapel service (the most well-attended chapel of the week). Those in attendance would not only be the students, but