OVERCOMING INHIBITION AND INSECURITY
360° Work Review
The process of being able to overcome the emotional obstacle of insecurity jump-started in 2012. I was one of eight on a senior-level team that oversaw a large ministry organization. The senior leader had us perform a 360° evalua- tion, which dove into areas such as the culture of the workplace, character, job relationships, and competence.
Personality profiles are a fun exercise for me. I like to self-evaluate to see how I have changed or adapted to the environment, how I have grown, and what areas still need improvement. However, this evaluation was much different. Along with my own self-evaluation, all of my colleagues, my boss, and my closest family and friends took the same evaluation. A consultant reviewed all the responses and sat with us one-on-one to go over potential issues, how we fit into the team, wins, and the possibility of blind spots we could seek guidance for.
When it was my turn to sit down with the consultant, I discovered that most people saw me for who I was. However, all of the responses on the negative side said something like, “There isn’t really anything negative I can say about Dan that is glaring, but he could improve by …,” or “He needs to show more confidence because his opinion is valued.”
Were my eyes ever opened!
What I thought I had overcome in my life, others around me at work, at home, and in friendships pointed right to the issue without being able to place their finger on exactly what the issue was. I knew exactly what the issue was and my heart sank.
They were all pointing to the deep sense of insecurity I have battled for most of my teen and adult life. This insecurity had woven its way into every aspect of my life and relationships. For the most part, it hadn’t destroyed any relationships, but it certainly held me back from realizing deep and meaningful ones. I had held people at arm’s length for fear of their discovering I was not as confident as I seemed outwardly. The trouble is, they all saw it.
Since that time, I have made a distinct effort to be open with this issue. With guidance, prayer, and stepping out in faith, I can daily overcome this feeling of insecurity and move forward with confidence.
Do I still fail? Do I still make mistakes? Yes! When I do fail, do I still battle with the afterthoughts that try to plague my next step forward? You betcha! The difference, you might ask? I embrace it now. Sometimes I need a good swift kick in the aft deck by someone that loves me to remind me that I am slipping into the lake of timidity— ”Just cut it out! Pick yourself up off the mat and go back swinging!”