THE LOST ART OF RELATIONSHIP
Kobe Bryant, point guard for the L.A. Lakers, said, “I have self-doubt. I have insecurity. I have fear of failure. I have nights when I show up at the arena and I’m like, ‘My back hurts, my knees hurt. I don’t have it. I just want to chill.’ We all have self-doubt. You don’t deny it, but you also don’t capitulate to it. You embrace it.”^8
As we age, one would think these insecurities fall away. But the insecurities we have while we are younger may actually become even more intense. They can be elevated to doubting whether someone sees value in us anymore because we are older and we feel irrelevant. It is so important as we age to continue to develop relationships that will encourage and counsel us. Relationships don’t just have to be with people our own age. In fact, I encourage everyone to intentionally make relationships with people who look up to us in our age and become a mentor to them or simply befriend them.
Our insecurities are wrapped up in our own minds. If we branch out in our relationships, not only will we find out we are still useful, but we can have an even more significant impact on the coming generations.
What would happen, if today, you decided to step forward and take a risk in one of your relationships—one that says, “I don’t want to pretend to be something to impress someone. I will be myself even if that means I show my faults.”? I challenge you to give it a try. Find a safe environment, some people you can trust. Open up about your inhibitions and insecurities and what you feel is holding you back. Allow them to speak into your life and call you out when you allow those pesky thoughts to hold you back.
One of the single greatest obstacles in our lives that keep us from experi- encing deep and meaningful relationships with each other is our insecurities, which speak to our hearts and lie to us by saying we will never be accepted if people knew of our weaknesses and failings.
Resolve today to speak to your insecurities and tell them they can no longer influence you. Then resolve tomorrow to do the same. It takes one day at a time and will become easier as you become consistent and practice this daily.