OVERCOMING JEALOUSY
Unhealthy jealousy, though, is entirely focused on ourselves. It is the very opposite of loving someone as yourself. The good news is that it has difficulty thriving when we become focused on meeting the needs of others. Jealousy cannot survive when we are grateful for what we do have and celebrate when others have successes. It cannot destroy our relationships if we decide to be thankful for what we have and focus our attention on those things or people. And it cannot fester if we can learn to be content with our life.
Paul, in one of his letters to the church of Philippi, alluded to his learned ability to be content with what he has, no matter the situation. Philippians 4:11–12 says,
“Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little.”
Our attitudes determine the path we will take. A jealous attitude can send us down a dangerous path of relational destruction when we start to believe we deserve something. It can tempt us to do things dishonestly, to spend more than we have, to pass blame when the blame belongs to you, to put others down to lift ourselves up, and also to enter into a self-deprecating perspective that becomes a vicious cycle of “woe is me.”
But imagine what would happen in our own lives and attitude towards others when we share in the joys of another person’s achievements; when we show them honor and are dignified in our relationships; and when we trust God with our level of contentment as He takes care of our needs. What would it look like in this world if we were all more aware of the needs of others around us? What kind of society would we live in if the goal were to give, rather than to receive? I know the answer: our world and relationships would be better, happier, and more peaceful.
So how can you combat jealousy? Pay attention to your thoughts. When jealousy begins to creep into your thinking or your heart, recognize the self-in- duced emotion that wants something someone else has. Take that thought or feeling and transform it into an act of love and humility. This is hard to do, but commit to it, and I guarantee you will see your relationships with others enhance.
It is natural to think of ourselves first. However, there is an instruction in Romans 12:15 to “be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.” This points our attention to the other person. When they are happy about something, we can rejoice with them. When they are mourning a loss, we mourn with them.