THE LOST ART OF RELATIONSHIP
me that sometimes we need to disconnect from unhealthy relationships to keep our life on the right path. Verses like:
“Bad company corrupts good character.” (1 Cor. 15:33)
“Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble.” (Prov. 13:20)
“Stay away from fools, for you won’t find knowledge on their lips.” (Prov. 14:7)
That day is etched in my memory. I wish I could say I always stayed away from doing stupid things after that day, but there were many tempting times when I allowed others to influence me, which when mixed with my desire to be accepted, equated into making dumb mistakes and getting in trouble.
You could say that my unhealthy relationships created obstacles for me to live a healthy life. Sometimes we just need to disconnect from them, perhaps for a long or short time, or even permanently. But how can we know which degree of disconnection is warranted? It starts with acknowledging and accepting the reasons why we need connection with others in the first place, and what kinds of relationships we should be connected to. We need to know what healthy relationships look like.
If you remember from chapter two, there are four reasons to connect with other people:
- It benefits me. In a mutual relationship, it just makes sense that it would be beneficial to me personally. Otherwise, why would I even want to connect? Even if I am helping someone and it seems one-sided, I benefit from the feeling I get when I do it.
- It benefits you. In a mutual relationship, I must be concerned with your well-being. Even if I am the recipient of what you can provide, in return you would benefit from the feeling you get when you do something for me.
- It should benefit others. If working properly, our mutual relationship should eventually have positive consequences for others around us. With mutual respect and dignity for each other, we see the value in others and do what we can to help them, especially because of what we have experienced together.
- It pleases God. To love your neighbor as you love yourself is not only the second greatest commandment Jesus gave us but the purpose of why we were created.
So anyone who meets these criteria is someone you should consider forming