THE LOST ART OF RELATIONSHIP
named Wawa. Late at night, Brian and I would order a large pizza, and when we went to pick it up, we would make a Wawa run to get a drink and a pint of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream.
I cannot imagine having half of a large 18-inch pizza and an entire pint of Ben & Jerry’s now! I still cannot believe I shoved 2,000 calories in my gullet that late at night and still maintained a thin frame.
Brian and I became best friends. Our birthdays are in July only five days apart. There were not many things we did apart from each other. We talked and prayed together and confided in each other on many issues. We had a blast doing things we probably shouldn’t have done. We played gin rummy, talked about girl issues, and studied together. We had some other friends we included in our circle as well, and we had a lot of fun with them too.
There was one boundary that I learned I should not cross with Brian, which I found out the hard way. I found out about this boundary when he and I stopped talking and hanging out to the point where we almost became estranged from each other. It probably lasted until about six months after our graduation.
This boundary had to do with a young woman. The perception on his part was that I was crossing the line between friendship and potentially “going for” the girl he was interested in. The fact was, I was friendly (and some would say flirtatious) to the point that I would lead some people to believe I was pursuing them. In one particular case, I was not respecting the relational line drawn in the sand with the girl he was interested in. It may have cost him this relationship. He had every right to be upset. Just because I could chalk it up to “this is how I am, and my intent was only to be friendly” didn’t excuse the behavior.
I was so distraught over the fact that we had parted ways, so about six months after graduation I mustered up enough courage to call and ask for forgiveness for whatever it was that caused the rift between us. In that one conversation, we were able to reconcile our relationship.
Speaking and Receiving Truth in Relationship
Since graduating in 1995, we have lived in separate parts of the country for most of our adult lives. But we do connect often. Brian invited me to be a part of his wedding in Ohio, and we also saw each other at a college reunion where we shared a motel room, even reliving the pizza and the Ben & Jerry’s experience (big mistake). Every time we talk or get reconnected, it is like no time has passed. I trust him implicitly. He is one of three men that knows everything I have experienced since college and knows me maybe even better than I know myself. And when we talk, we don’t really have to catch up as most friends do. We simply start sharing