THE LOST ART OF RELATIONSHIP
person to someone who can help them, then their need will be filled, thereby creating a connection that only deepens your network.
Building Community in N. California
In my adult life, I have moved seven times to a different city (a couple of moves I made were back to an area I had lived years before). Each time I have moved, whether by myself or with my family, I have had to build a new network of connections in that area. Keep in mind, I have kept my networks and connections from the areas I have moved from. I call it “expanding my community.”
Expanding our community stretches our skills with people, increases our interactions and forces us to learn how to adapt to new situations. We can learn so much through this process, although it can be difficult. Plus, opportunity comes through relationship.
The most recent move to Northern California was no different. If anything, this was the most difficult transition. When we moved to Roseville, my wife and I knew no one. We had no business connections, personal connections, or friends we could call in an instant to help us move a piece of furniture, find out what the best restaurants are, and so forth.
We were starting from scratch, so I just reached out and set up my first appointment with a church where I was hoping to work to see if there was a position available. After church one Sunday, my wife and I met with a woman who filtered out people for the jobs at this large church in Northern California. Even though there were positions available, it was clear I was not who she was looking for.
This catapulted me into what became a season of planting seeds of relationship. It became clear that all throughout my life this was something I was practicing. It wasn’t until this last move where mastering this skill—this art of community—became a possibility. I still do not believe I have mastered it, as I am always a student of relationship. However, it has become much easier to do. What I needed to do was build community with those I was trying to reach.
I began asking people to go to coffee. I would like to say this was easy at first. I had started a business/ministry called The Sophos Group, offering consulting, coaching, and support. My entire goal was to befriend pastors and leaders in business and become a friend to them—someone they could talk to, get to know, and be there as support personally and, if needed, professionally.
I made visits and phone calls to pastors. I walked into businesses and tried to get an appointment with a manager or owner. I did not take rejection too