THE ART OF COMMUNITY
well. Actually, it really sucked, until I read an article about a man that decided for several months to ask questions of people where he knew he would receive a negative response. His goal was to learn how to handle rejection.
It is ironic. After I realized that rejection could be a closed door and that you just need to keep knocking on other doors to see which one would open (instead of knocking on the same door waiting for it to open…eventually), that is when my coffee/lunch times started to gain traction.
I took a couple of pastors for lunch or a coffee. Some pastors were very skeptical of me, to the point of inferring I was only trying to sell them something. Others would hear my heart and what I was trying to accomplish and offer advice on how to move forward. At each meeting I attended with a pastor or business person, they dropped names of people they felt like I should connect with and provided their contact info.
I called every single one. This was laying the foundation of what I could build on.
For the most part, people I called agreed to a meeting with me due to the name of the person who provided their info. I found myself having coffee or lunch several times per week, getting new names and meeting new people. Not every person I met has turned into a relationship. Not every seed you plant in a relationship will be sown in fertile soil. Some heart soil is already at capacity for relationships at that moment.
Through this process, I reconnected with a mentor of mine; I’ve mentioned him in another chapter, Steve Preston. His counsel and advice helped me immensely. Plus, rekindling a friendship just enriched our connection.
Very close to our arrival in Northern California, I reached out to the leader of the district of the denomination where I am ordained. His assistant helped me get on his calendar for lunch. He was not available for a couple months, so I set up a meeting with the district’s secretary/treasurer. We sat in his office for over an hour getting to know each other. I started off with him like I did with everyone else: “Where were you born?” and “How did you get to where you are right now?”
After meeting with him, I met with the superintendent for lunch, which included the secretary/treasurer, at a Mexican restaurant close to their offices. Because of what I was trying to accomplish in ministry, they recommended I meet with Dr. Sam Huddleston, the Assistant Superintendent of the Northern California District of the denomination.
My reason for meeting him up front was to let him know about the ministry I was starting in Northern California. From that initial meeting, he invited me to