THE ART OF TRUST
worthiness before trust can be exchanged, maybe we would even be accepted by others sooner than later. Proving trustworthiness does take time, but it is an extremely valuable part of relationship—one worthy of mastering.
Repairing Broken Trust
Even though trust must be present to have a healthy relationship, we must realize at times that even those close to us will break trust on occasion. It will happen because we are humans living in a fallen world; all of us need God’s grace and mercy in our lives.
We have all experienced the hurt of someone who broke trust in our relationship with them. Perhaps it was a child that lied, a co-worker that gossiped about something private you told them, a spouse who was unfaithful, or a pastor who had a moral failing. Maybe a close friend disappointed you in some way, or a politician broke a promise he or she made. Really, it could be anything anyone did that is the opposite of what they said or what you believed would happen.
Broken trust is difficult to mend, but it is possible. I have seen marriages come back from unfaithfulness, children come back into a trusting relationship with their parents, and employees come back and gain the good graces of their bosses.
How do we respond when trust is broken? What do we do? How about if we were the one who broke trust with someone? What do we do to rebuild it? There are two essential attitudes to embrace:
1. Vulnerability
When trust is broken, a gap is created between the two people,
and we tend to fill that gap with negative thoughts, beliefs, and
a deeper lack of trust. The only way to bridge that gap requires
a level of vulnerability on both sides. If you show a level of
vulnerability, it has a positive effect on your ability to prove
trustworthy to the other person.^20
If someone breaks your trust and they are significant to you,
you may need to allow them to reestablish trust, which means
taking the risk of them breaking it again. The one who is
rebuilding the trust after it is broken needs to be vulnerable and
allow the other person to hold them accountable by opening up
their actions and thoughts to be tested. This process can take
a long time, but it’s important to remember that it is possible.