THE ART OF HONESTY
overcoming all of that by rising from the dead, any and all sin that we confess to him and ask him to forgive us for can be erased. There is no confession he cannot handle (Ps. 103:12).
But for relationships with each other, some confessions can put too much weight on a relationship, depending on how stable their relational structure is. When first building a relationship, confession needs to start small. Letting someone know about your weaknesses is great, but you do not want to unleash your burdens too soon or all at once. As the structure of your relationship begins to strengthen, you can start to open up and confess more.
As you grow in relationship with others, you can begin to confess to others your weaknesses, but keep in mind that others will desire to do the same with you. It is the bond between two people that gives the relationship its strength. If only one person in that relationship is piling on the weight, it is sure to fail eventually. Some boundaries may need to be put in place if it gets to be too overwhelming.
Is True Honesty Possible?
This depends on the individual and the relationship. I believe it is possible, but it takes time, relational investment, working through difficulties, living within mutual boundaries with another, trust, and, most of all, an understanding of who we are—imperfect beings serving a perfect God.
One Saturday while teaching in a spiritual-life-training weekend, I utilized an illustration that I never expected to have the impact it did. The idea dropped into my mind a few weeks before the weekend while watching one of those cop shows. There was a one-way mirror they used to select the perpetrator, but the line-up couldn’t see who was watching them through the mirror.
I hopped online and purchased a small one-way mirror; it measured about sixteen inches high, twelve inches wide, and about fourteen inches deep. When it came, I created this little box, purchased a light with a switch on the cord, and secured a picture of Jesus in the box on the wall opposite the one-way mirror.
Here is how the exercise went. I set the box in the front of a room that seats about three hundred people. I positioned the box facing directly forward on a table behind me to my left as I faced the crowd, with a camera angled from the sound booth in the back of the room behind the crowd.
I set up the moment like this,
This box represents us. When we look in the mirror, we see the reflection of who and what we are. We notice the flaws, the