23.
The Art of the Question
When I met Brian Griswold, he was the children’s pastor where I had just become the Administrative Pastor in Maryland. At just about six foot two, he towered far above the little heads of children, and every single one of them absolutely loved him!
He served in children’s ministry for almost thirty years. He has a boister- ous laugh and an incredible sense of humor. He and his wife, Liz, created a family for themselves where mutual discussion and opinions were welcome. Why? Because they asked powerful questions.
Brian and I didn’t become friends right away. We grew closer as we started to work together. By asking questions and listening to the responses, we became great friends where trust was easy, and our families coalesced. They brought such a different perspective into our lives, one that was new and refreshing!
I remember when Brian decided to leave the children’s ministry and go into counseling and family therapy. He began to ask the question, “What if?” There is so much power in that question. In relationships, it is one of hope and excitement, but also can be one of dismay. For the most part, when asked, it can become a catalyst for stretching beyond our comfort zones and expanding our community of friends, experiences, and, therefore, enriching our lives even more.
It was when Brian left his position at the church that our friendship really began to take off. We met for lunch often to talk about our families, our children, the struggles we were facing, and the good things happening. Whenever I was experiencing specific struggles, Brian always asked me questions. These questions mined the motives of my heart, challenged me to think about the other’s perspective, and always pointed me back to relation- ship over pride.