THE ART OF FORGIVENESS
When I read this passage, I like to add a little inflection to Peter’s voice as if he is exasperated. It can be compared to us getting frustrated that we have offered forgiveness, but the person who offended us continues to insult us. Jesus shows the nature of where our hearts should be when it comes to reconciliation.
This passage also tells me that we will always remember, at the most inopportune times, which we have been hurt by and how we have been hurt or offended. When we are reminded (and we will be), we are to forgive yet again as if it were the first time. Why? We are designed not to forget. Our brains are wired to remember. From birth, our brains retain information, and as we get older, we can recall this information because of a smell, a sound, or something we see or touch that reminds us of a past event, emotion, or even a hurt/offense. When we are reminded, it can trigger the anger emotion all over again.
Forgiveness is a powerful tool. In any relationship, you will need to utilize this tool if you desire to keep these relationships. It is difficult to understand the magnitude of the power of forgiveness if you do not realize the need for it and how it can help you develop deep, meaningful relationships. Forgiveness is not just apologizing and moving on. There is a difference between saying, “I’m sorry” (an apology), and “Will you please forgive me?” (forgiveness). Let’s take a look.
Apology Versus Forgiveness
I can remember a situation where I had committed to moving some boxes out of a room so another person who needed that space could prepare for an event coming up a few days later. I dropped the ball on my commitment and did not move them.
This person called me early in the morning and asked if I could come and move them as they needed the room to get set up. When I arrived, they had already been moved out of the room and were being transported to another location. I jumped right in and began to not only move my items but other items as well.
When I saw this person, I walked right over to them and could tell they were not happy with me. They tensed right up. I had a choice to make. Would I just say I was sorry, or would I go the extra step? What happened next was visibly noticeable.
I said, “I am so sorry for missing this. It was a drop on my part, and I should have moved them.” Just as soon as this person was about to say something, I added another line, “Will you please forgive me for missing this one?” Their body language changed from “ready for the fight,” to “please help us get the rest of the items moved.”