THE LOST ART OF RELATIONSHIP
Then I realized something that caught me by surprise. There are reasons to connect, which are simple and not all that mind-blowing. I came up with four of them which I believe if we are truly honest with ourselves and others, ring true. They are significant because they free us to be ourselves and to set the stage for openness, and hopefully, a quicker avenue to trust.
1. The relationship benefits me.
Why would I want to spend the time doing something if it doesn’t benefit me? Oh my gosh! This sounds so selfish! It may seem that way, but follow me for a second.
If I ask to grab some coffee or lunch with you, the basis of my request is my desire for some time with you. This alone benefits me. If I can hear your life journey and know more about where you came from, who your family is, and how you came to be where you are right now, then I am benefitted. I now have a bit of knowledge about you. Just focusing on someone else for any amount of time helps me see beyond myself.
I also hope it will gain me a new friend. There is no way to tell if this is the case after the first time we meet, but I cannot find out unless I take the first step and spend some time with you.
Connecting with you may also benefit me with an expanded network of connections. The more people connect with, the bigger the web of support I have, which is made up of people with different skills and abilities—it grows exponentially.
When we treat others how we want to be treated, it begins with me but doesn’t end there.
2. The relationship benefits you.
If something doesn’t benefit you, why would you want to spend the time to do it? All of the reasons from the first point apply here as well.
I need to bring something to the table in this connection to you. The golden rule is to treat others as you want to be treated. One would hope that the new connection is not one-sided (although I will admit, not everyone is altruistic and not every connection will be reciprocal).
During the very first time you connect with someone, you will also share your life journey with them. This allows them to get to know you, where you came from, and how you happened to be where you are right now. Connecting with me should benefit you as you will also have an expanded network, potential