THE LOST ART OF RELATIONSHIP
to hear and see what someone of a different color shares about their experiences and perspective, then we can begin to comprehend how they view the room around them. We cannot and should not assume we all see things the same way.
Learning about Gavin’s perspective, especially in certain situations where color is involved, has enhanced my perspective, my life, and also my relation- ships. Why? The reason is simple. It is because I can focus on others, begin to anticipate how my actions may affect another (whether positively or negatively), and adjust my behavior out of respect and dignity for another man’s viewpoint. Another invaluable lesson.
3. We all need to laugh.
Laughter is wonderful medicine! Have you ever been in a room with someone who is laughing and cannot stop? Inevitably I will begin to chuckle and soon laugh because they are laughing.
Gavin’s laugh is contagious. He also liked to have fun. He has a way of pointing out the humor in what others may see as a serious situation. He could turn your frown into a smile. When you are in a room with him, he quickly becomes the one we would call “the life of the party.”
Many times, when we were in a serious meeting, I would get a buzz on my phone—a text message from Gavin with a funny comment that instantly made me chuckle under my breath. That led to a text string that would lighten our moods and help us to realize that stressing about what was happening in the meeting would not do us any good at all.
Laughing at yourself and not taking yourself too seriously is an art form. It frees you to be who you really are, own your weaknesses, and enjoy your strengths without becoming arrogant. Gavin is the one who taught me that.
I can remember one night in particular. All of the pastors (and their spouses if they were married) went to The Antrim House in Taneytown, MD. It was a very nice five-course meal, very fancy. My wife and I spent most of our time with Gavin and Shekinah, his wife. We must have laughed all the way home from that dinner! I laughed so hard my cheeks hurt. We laughed about things that were said at dinner, the silly little nuances we all have, and even about some of the issues we faced at the office in ministry.
There are few things Gavin does not find laughter in. His friendship has taught me to look at the lighter side of the relational equation—to have fun along the way, and to laugh…very hard.