THE LOST ART OF RELATIONSHIP
2. Unity is self-sacrificing.
Becoming a disciple of Christ means you must deny yourself. In Matthew 16:24, Jesus said to his disciples, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me.”
What separates us from a relationship with God? The easy answer is sin. What separates us from a relationship with each other? Again, the easy answer is sin. James 1:14–15 tell us, “Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.”
So sin cannot happen unless you desire it. Sin in its very nature is found in pride and selfishness. Sin is conceived from temptation, which entices us through the evil desires of the flesh. Our sinful desires (“give me what I want”) plus temptation give birth to sin.
Our desires say, “Feed me. Give me what I want.” They are self-seeking and prideful. Pride and selfishness are what separates us from God and others. Philippi- ans 2:3–4 says, “Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.” Colossians 3:10 says, “Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like him.”
Romans 12:3 also instructs us, “Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us.” Pride and selfishness separate, but imitating Jesus and his self-sacrificing love for others integrates. The enemy has fought for dissen- sions, divisions, disagreements, debates, dislikes, distastes, and disdain. But Jesus desires unity. To walk in unity with other people, we must say no to our selfish desires and exhibit a self-sacrificing attitude.
3. Unity takes discipline.
I learned this lesson of discipline from Joe Taybron. When my family moved to Northern California in 2013, I literally knew no one. I had no connections in the area (that I knew of) and had to start building relationships from scratch. My only desire was to befriend pastors, get to know them, provide a listening ear, be someone they could talk to who understood what they were going through, be a confidential confidant, and offer myself as a resource to go to if they needed anything.
I spent months and months calling churches, trying to set up coffee or lunch appointments, hoping to get some face time with the pastors in my area. It was